The New and Underappreciated Axis
by BahBahBlackSnake
Summary: Hey have you ever wondered about countries that did not show up in in hetalia? I did and this is what came out. The new chapter sees; New friends just acquainted,Old friends reunited,a scam artist,and sweet Kiwis get your mind out of the gutter no smut!
1. Turkey and His Brothers and Sisters

Hey guys it's Bah Bah. I have no idea if anyone will ever read this but hey, at least it's out there for everyone to see. I decided to go with an _Axis Powers: Hetalia_ fanfic to start out with. I am going to do countries that I have enough fodder to lampoon. If you are offended by my narrative of your country I greatly apologize. However this is a satirical viewpoint and should be taken with a grain of salt it is (usually) not my particular point of view. The first one is Turkey! Hurrah!

Herkese Merhaba benim adım Türkiye! For those of you that don't speak Turkish, which mind you is nobody outside of my little peninsula, I told you hello and that my name is Turkey. I am located on the Anatolian Peninsula surrounded mostly by the Black, Aegean, and Mediterranean Seas. I also share land borders with Bulgaria, Greece, Armenia, Azerbaijan, Iran, Iraq, and Syria. With countries defaulting on debts, racial and religious disputes, and genocide going on all the time you can tell it really never gets boring where I am. Especially with America sticking his big fat nose into everyone's business and making a huge mess out of everything. I am happy to help but at this point I really am starting to think that it is doing more harm than good. Especially since America is starting to disregard what I say about northern Iraq. I still hope we can be friends even though we have been agitated at each other for a couple of years now. I have been trying to get into the European Union for years now and nobody wants me into the party. I am sure it is only because I am not connected with European countries. But I am sure that I will earn the trust of everyone in the Union! We have a very secular and somewhat extreme Muslim government though for those kind of things we certainly have an open mind regarding the world. I have been trying very hard to make friends in the international community and I have succeeded! It is really a good to have friends in the world of international politics. I am still working on that piano player Austria who still hates my guts. I have three brothers, two sisters, and one son. My brothers are Azerbaijan, Kazakhstan, and Uzbekistan. My sisters are Kyrgyzstan and Turkmenistan. My son is The Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus. My son hasn't been recognized by anyone else in the world; not even my siblings who are supposed to love him! He is their flesh and blood after all. Then again not everybody has been showing much civility to the other since we rejoined each other again. Turkmenistan and Uzbekistan really don't get along and everyone is trying to distance themselves from Azerbaijan because of the Armenian Genocide.

Azerbaijan and I have been close ever since the Soviet Union collapsed. Everyone only sees him as a bully and a liar but I still love him anyway. I even help him to cover up… I mean… uhh… support him in trying to prove false the allegations of a ludicrous "Armenian genocide". I don't believe it happened and a lot of countries are disappointed that I would back up my brother in his correct conjecture that such an atrocity never took place. Believe me I would have noticed if something that evil was going on. My boss Mr. Ankara and Azerbaijan's boss Mr. Baku often joke that we are "one nation with two states". That isn't really true although we do love each other very much. America and those in the European Union and NATO say I love them too much. But what's a little human rights violation here and there in the grand scheme of things. It only brings about deep seated racial tensions right?

Turkmenistan has been really close to me also since the Soviet collapse. I think that we are going to get along as well as Azerbaijan and I. Turkmenistan is always called "flat" so she has a complex concerning her bust. I always tell that's not what they really mean by that but she doesn't believe since she is overly self-conscious. Her boss Mr. Ashgabat also reflects her beliefs and anything that is said about him causes hell to be raised and demons to wander the earth in the form of fear. It is so bad that every person on the radio issues a pledge before the program that if he or she says anything that defames the country, flag, or president that their tongue should shrivel in their mouths. The only places that restrict free speech more are North Korea and Burma. I just think that she is going through a rough patch and it will turn out alright. She has asked and received permits by the rest of the world to be permanently neutral in every issue. It's kind of like Switzerland when it comes to wars. I will always back her up no matter what the odds so she has nothing to worry about.

My brother Kazakhstan took the dissolution of the Soviet Union as a spring board to a whole new outlook. As soon as the borders opened so did my brother's view of the world. He saw new opportunities to gain from what was lost when the Soviets fell. In 2000 he paid back all the money he owed because of the IMF which was seven years ahead of schedule. And speaking of ahead of schedule he has left the rest of the family except for me in the dust so to speak. He also has a large amount of ethnic diversity in his nation and seems to cause no problem. He has become very tolerant and liberal minded about foreign policy. Crude oil has become his big thing and he really makes some serious bank. Kazakhstan is also trying to connect all of Central Asia with some kinda mode of transportation. Think of it as a huge middle finger to Russia that he is doing this as it quite frankly pisses off Russia. While he needs it the less he is trying help me in trying to get the family all together.

My sister Kyrgyzstan, like my other siblings, also rejoined family after the end of the Soviet Union. She is the opposite of Turkmenistan in every way. The first think that Turkmenistan will tell you is that she has quite the "non-flat body" as opposed to her own make up. She also tends to be far more liberal and forgiving to her people. Her economy is in complete tathers which is different than Turkmenistan who lies about her economies growth all the time as if on impulse but still has a semblance of stability. I have been the country she has leaned on the most for many different reasons but mostly civil unrest and a turbulent regime overthrow and the new democratic government that has been set up there. It doesn't have much power which is another difference between her and Turkmenistan. She also ranks in the top twenty in corrupt governments ranking 1.8 out of 10. Zero being most and ten being least corrupt.

Finally there is my brother Uzbekistan. Uzbekistan is the youngest of the group and is always being picked by everyone in the family except for me and Kazakhstan. Uzbeks are frequently discriminated against by every culture in Central Asia but it is particular strong within the house. If there are human rights issues in the Turkic states it is always concerning the Uzbeks being maltreated. Others say Armenians as well but as I said before I have no idea what they are talking about. Although Uzbekistan isn't exactly sterling in their human rights department either they get along better than most of the other Turkic nations.

Whew. THAT certainly took a lot of time. I wanted to give you a little bit of background so that you know who we were if my family members or I are talked about by other countries and by the same token you will get to know us better as we move along. Though judging by that bored look on your face you may not even come back. I hope I am wrong and I want to see you later. güle güle!

Uzbekistan: Hey all you cool kids. What Bah Bah really wants is for you to get to know the characters and to get the basic idea of the countries. If you really want to know more about or if you think you could do a better job researching and finding out information for yourself, do it!

Turkmenistan: You better review or else I will get my big brother Turkey to get his friends in high places to castigate you from the rest of society until you have no other choice but to praise the ground I walk on. And nothing negative either or else even I will get mad.

Kazakhstan: Turkmenistan you can't go around threatening people… you can barely defend yourself with that pitiful military. You can make negative reviews just make sure that they stay within reason and so Bah Bah knows why you hate it. Sau bolynyz and thanks for reading!


	2. Australia the Land of Kangaroos

Hey again it's Bah Bah! This time I have done another country that deserves at least a bit of ridicule. Australia is the next to be introduced. By the way these mini self-told biographies are told so that they set the stage for when I actually have country and country dialogue similar to the end of my first chapter between Kazakhstan and Turkmenistan. Again I you are offended by my portrayal of your country I apologize. However this is a satirical work and should be taken with a grain of salt and it is not (usually) my actual point of view.

G'day mates! I'm Australia. It's nice to meet all you blokes. I am a pretty big country and I am also my own continent! How great is that? You probably already know where I am because who hasn't heard of the mystical Land Down Under. When I was just starting out as a wee little nipper, I was a British penal colony. No, that does not mean that I dealt with copious amounts of penis but that is where England dumped all his unwanted convicts onto me which is not really much better than dealing with danglies. We do all kind of different things down here like kill each other under the pretense of playing football and playing soccer fairly badly for a team that is always in the World Cup. So you can probably tell that I am uncoordinated. One of the kind things going for us is that we are the only country in the world to have kangaroos! It is kind of symbol as a nation. America takes it a bit too far and refers to us Aussies as Kangaroos. It hurts my feelings but as long as America doesn't hate it is all worth it in the end. Especially since we have been such good friends recently regarding our foreign policy and military cooperation. I have been trying to reach out to a whole slew of dirty Asian countries and some neighbors in the Pacific. Things have been rather rocky in recent years wondering why Oz would want to associate with them. It is really the case with China as most of the people don't even really know what our stance is towards them. As a matter of fact we have been trudging along with no agenda in particular regarding the Asian matters of gaining security which I have to admit is stupid but my boss Mr. Canberra decided it might be best to put off the issue of security which really confuses me but he knows best and I will trust his better judgement. People always think of me as a whacka who hangs out in the Never Never having a naughty with kangaroos. To be honest with that is truly disgusting. Who does that with a kangaroo? And the Outback isn't the only place in Australia. We have a lot of culture here like that opera house thing that I can't remember the name for. Usually because I spend too much time pervin' on kangaroos in the Outback and can never really remember the name. It's only those banana benders that have any culture. Not really my cup of tea eh.

Hey you dills it Australia. You should review otherwise I will take your pets and feed them to my kangaroos for pleasure. I use a lot of strine as you can tell and I will translate a bit for you. I'll leave out the obvious like g'day and blokes

Nipper n. : Child

Oz: Australia

Whacka: idiot

Never Never: the outback

Have a naughty: have sex

Banana benders: a person from Queensland

By the way do some research and feel free to torch the author.


	3. The Mixer Part One

Hey if you cared enough to read both chapters and you wanted another chapter you have been rewarded! Good for you! I am going to go on with the plot (plot?) and if I want to add new characters then I will give them a profile told in a neutral narrator's tone. This is where experimentation comes into play. Current events and near past recreations!

_Australia has been very active in the international community in recent years. They have been especially active in the Asian continent and the sub-continent. So active even that Asia brought along his closest friend New Zealand to have a little fun at and Asian mixer that he was invited too._

Australia looked around at his surroundings and realized that he was going to in for a very eventful night. He looked around and saw all of the different people there. The East Asian nations had only just started to arrive. Australia had just been verbally brutalized by some Central Asian country that had absolutely no business making a fool out of such an important country such as he. She had had a chip on her shoulder and didn't like it one bit. He thought she said her name was Turkey but even he knew that wasn't right because Turkey wasn't a chick the last time he saw her.

_What a dill-headed, flat-chested dog. _He thought to himself. _She would be better off if she got hit by a rotten road train truckie._

Then Australia saw New Zealand crying by herself in the corner. Someone must have spilled something on her and judging that it was only around the collar of her light and frilly pink dress it probably wasn't an accident.

"Australia," as New Zealand awakened from her depressed stupor. "Some chick claiming to be Turkey started ear bashin' me and I commented about her dress looking nice and she called called me a conceited ganjık and spilled water all over me and my sheepskin boa. The boa was completely ruined and I had to (_hic_) throw it away." After saying that a new wave of tears started to streak down her face. Her blues eyes started to get puffy and red and thrust herself into Australia's shoulder and started crying. Her blonde hair smacking him in the face violently as she latched onto the back of his shirt.

"Oi," Australia blanched. "Pull it together Kiwi. I can't have you blubbering in me shirt. You know what though I had the same problem with the same Sheila now that I think about it. I said she was a bit of spunk and she started spittin' the dummy. I was bloody well astonished with that." He never showed tender care to New Zealand but he viewed as a close friend through thick and thin and this Turkey imposter was truly starting to piss him off. _Where is this bloody sheila? I'm gonna give that bugger a lesson that she'll never forget._ After being bashed himself, he could hardly forget what she looked like. Tall with dark hair, brown eyes, and extremely beautiful with slightly tan skin. She definitely looked like she could've been a female version of Turkey but knowing him he would never do such a thing.

_Ha, found you ya little she-devil._

He saw her talking to one of his friends from Central Asia Kazakhstan. He was a rather big fellow and thinning a little bit which got him a little grief from the community because there really wasn't much to make fun of other than that.

"Look Kazzy," the impersonator pointed at him. "That's the sözleri that was perving on me from earlier!"

"Kazzy? Sӧlzeri? Pervert!," Australia bellowed at this point being perfectly furious. "You've got to be bloody kidding me you lying waif of woman! You flaming bully, beating up on New Zealand when she can't bloody well defend herself. I honestly can't understand what you're doing impersonating Turkey like you are."

Kazakhstan started trying to mediate the situation.

"Now now friends."

"Friends!" The two countries exclaimed. "That disgusting pervert could never be my friend!"

While Australia yelled over her; "The filthy bullying wench could never be my friend!"

"Damn it now listen to me," as Kazakhstan's voice suddenly took on a livid and commanding tone. "please let me clear up this little _misunderstanding_ that we are having here." The way he said misunderstanding made both countries begin to look each other sheepishly even though they still felt that they were wronged, but with how Kazakhstan had begun to speak right now it was better to feign repentance.

"Australia you silly man, this woman is _Turkmenistan._ You misheard her when you said her name and calling a young woman such distasteful names to a woman is something that I never thought you would dare to do except for New Zealand, though I know that is in good fun. And Turkmenistan that is absolutely no way to behave beating a woman who felt uncomfortable in such a situation as this party is absolutely awful of you. I expect much better from you. Not mention that Australia meant nothing by what he said because even though he is a hick he isn't a womanizer. "

Kazakhstan made the two countries feel incredibly stupid and a wee bit agitated at Kazakhstan but they were very careful not to let that show upon their faces.

"Now apologize to each other." Australia and Turkmenistan murmured their apologies to each almost inaudibly while not even making eye contact over a frosty handshake. To say the least this was definitely not the way you want to start foreign relations with a nation that has what you want. Kazakhstan definitely regretted handling the situation how he did now forcing an artificial peace between the two nations but he felt in order for the party to go smoothly for the Oceanian newcomer he would need to have everything smoothed over so that the other nations wouldn't ignore him. After all this was a big deal for him. Turkmenistan, he felt, needed to make a good impression on Australia the most considering how disliked she was in the international community outside of Turkey and he. Every country needs a friend that isn't your neighbor though being friends with your neighbors never hurt anyone.

Turkmenistan felt pretty unhappy about how she forced to resolve the situation with Australia but after thinking about it she did feel pretty bad about what she did to that girl country… uh New Zealand was it?

"Hey pervert," she called out to an equally dissatisfied Australia. "Come over here I need to ask a favor from you if you don't mind" Australia turned his head considered and walked towards her.

"Listen sheila," Australia said. "I can forgive you calling me a pervert but beating up on Kiwi…" He was cut off by Turkmenistan

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about. I need you to talk to her and tell her I'm sorry okay. Believe pervy guy I really don't do this so it's a little hard for me."

Australia sighed loudly and said ; "Well I guess as long as you're sorry waif I'll see if she can forgive you."

"Don't call me waif you little slimeball. I hate when people talk about my bust!"

"Save it. I'm already doing your little favor so be grateful." Turkmenistan turned on her heel and gave a huge "harrumph" as stormed away from Australia. She saw Uzbekistan and thought it might be nice to let off a little steam.

Australia watched storm away and couldn't help but think; _God she reminds me of a little ankle biter with that temper she has_. _At least I won't experience anything more unusual than that tonight._

But little did he know. Little did he know indeed.

Kyrgyzstan: Hey guys I paid off Bah Bah in order to appear in the next chapter. Bribery is wonderful is it not?

Turkey: Kyrgyzstan he planned on putting you in the chapter anyway. You just got tricked you ahmak! Anyway please review Bah Bah's work. I'm sure that you can come up with brilliant pearls to say about his work!

New Zealand: Ri… Ri… Right Turkey. You can right negative comments as well just make sure they are on civil grounds otherwise they will be discounted without thought. Anything to say Shags?

Shags: (bleats softly)

New Zealand: Awe you are cutest fluffiest pet sheep in all of New Zealand. Well see you next time!


	4. The Mixer Part Two

Hey guys I'm back again and ready to play. What did you think of my first "real" chapter? I tried to liven things up after some dry chapters of background. Those days are over as profiles will be brief and told in a neutral tone by myself. This chapter is frickin' tight dude and I hope you like it. A continuation on the last chapter.

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><p>Turkey looked at Turkmenistan as she was stalking away as Australia looked back at her.<p>

_Certainly one of the frostiest first encounters I have seen between two nations in a while. At least that sister of mine is finally starting to develop relationships outside of our family. And apologizing was also unexpected. She's growing up and opening up. I'm so proud._

Turkey's moment of dazed pride didn't take long to be punctured by a familiar and by now annoying voice.

"Ni hao Turkey. It seems like our party is quite successful so far – aru."

"China… it is...," Turkey hesitated as he tried to hold back his annoyance for the late guest. "wonderful to see you again. I'm glad to see that you are competent enough to plan a party in order for all our fellow countries to meet like this. Tell me though; why in the hell did you invite Australia and New Zealand. That dirty kangaroo knows nothing of Asia and isn't even part of our continent and that Kiwi is going to get bullied by everyone in Central Asia except for me and Kazakhstan.

China started to pout as he held his stuffed kitty close to his chest.

"Why are so mean to me Turkey?", China whimpered. " I was only trying to help international affairs between the Asian nations and Australia - aru. Besides I didn't invite New Zealand , that was Australia's doing. aru"

"Nothing will ever help we are too culturally different and they will never understand what it is like. The political climate is so different and most of our citizens on our half of the continent have to live in fear of terrorism every day. I mean look at Uzbekistan. He gets blown to hell everyday of his life because of who he is on the outside. An Uzbek."

"Turkey I understand your point of view, aru, but I think that's why we need to get him here and be able to see what goes here everyday and try to get the appeal of outside influences. aru"

"That would be a good idea if it wasn't so damn naive ahmak. Let's face it China, no one will come to help except America and when he comes in he tries to "be the hero" and sometimes make things even worse than they already are. Do you honestly believe that _Australia_ is going to do something about it or is this just because you have become the best of friends with recently.'

"Sure we are friends, aru, but that's why I bringing him here to see that it's not only the terrorism in the eastern half but also the economic decay in the western half. Laos and Cambodia are decaying and there is nothing that we can do about it unless we see global action taken. aru"

Turkey was about to say more but was cut off by an argument far more poignant in nature. _Looks like this will have to wait._

"You stupid bitch! There is no way you can have the Gaza Strip. In fact I will take back from you with force."

_Oh no... those two again._

A flustered Israel was against the wall of the building and didn't really give any signs of being hostile. Palestine the on the other was absolutely furious.

"Please leave me alone. I'm not even really occupying it any more.", Israel said rather meekly. Her black hair was now messy over her olive face.

"That is only a technicality. I know that if I invaded right now there is no way that you would idly sit by and watch me take it over. Enough with those lame excuses and playing the victim all the time."

"Well it's part of my holy land..." she was cut off.

"Shut up it's mine too and there is no way I'm going to share it with a Jew."

A rather tall woman had just about had enough of this argument. Her green eyes shined like emeralds as she entered the fray almost quite literally. Her long brown hair flowed as she strode almost menacingly towards the now taciturn countries. _Pakistan_, Turkey thought.

"Gandagi! Every time the both of you are the same place one of you is bullying the other. Just enjoy the party. It's so annoying.

she then began to stalk away while other countries stepped aside and refused to make eye contact with the country. she was unbelievably scary whenever she was like this.

"Thanks," as Turkey sighed with relief. "I was afraid that i was going to lose control of the party because..."

"Can it," the woman snapped. "If it wasn't for you being so damned afraid of stepping on toes you could be a better ally for me in terms of keeping peace around."

"It's so other countries wont get involved in the problems of our region."

"No Turkey, its because you want to please everybody. But you know that is kinda what i like about you."

"Oh your so cute Paku."

"Dammit its Pakistan. Why do you always insist on calling me such childish nicknames? Honestly it seems like your trying to piss me off sometimes." The woman walked away abashedly with red searing red in her cheeks due to embarrassment.

She'll never change and that's what I think I like about her.

He looked around the room and saw Kyrgyzstan talking to a group of countries that he thought weren't going to show up because of "prior obligations". Thailand, Vietnam, and Laos.

"Listen, I can give you each about 500,000 USD and we can call it agreed right."

Turkey stormed over at hearing this.

"Listen guys Kyrgyzstan here is just gonna rip you off so I would beat it if I were you."

The other three countries awkwardly walked away still having the full intention of making the deal. Whatever it was.

"Really Kyrgyz you need to..."

"Humph. The Awesome Me thought this party would be able to suit my awesomeness and i don't think its quite up to my awesome standards."

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><p>Turkey: Hey that lazy slob finally updated<p>

Pakistan: Shut up I'm sure he was trying hard...

Australia: Please that wanker couldn't be lazier if he tried. Soon he won't even update at all.

Prussia: The Awesome Me thinks that you guys need to post awesome comments. I won't sweat it much because they won't as awesome as I am.

Turkmenistan: Yeah make sure it's your opinion of the story. You don't get to do that in my country..


	5. The Mixer Part Three

Hey guys! Long time no see. And by that I mean I hardly remember since the last time I posted something. Sorry if you've been waiting for this chapter. I've been super busy with Letters to Turkmenistan, school, school, school, and school. So as you may have picked up school has really invaded my life. Thanks for sticking with me throughout chapter five and a special shout out to hetaoni who was the first to review. Thank you for your positive comment and you spurred me on to write this one again!

The room fell silent as a strange man with white hair and red eyes beamed brightly as he surveyed the disturbance that he had caused.

"It seems the Awesome Me has made yet another awesome appearance. I shouldn't be too surprised though it is the Awesome Me after all."

Pakistan, Turkey, China, Australia, and New Zealand let out a massive groan while the other countries stared around and looked at each other with a large amount of confusion.

"Who is that guy?" one country murmured.

"Haven't the slightest idea amigo," the other responded.

"Who does he think he is anyway?"

"It seems some of you unenlightened countries do not yet know my Awesomeness. That's fine because I've decided to stay at this party until I met everybody here."

The aforementioned group who let out massive sighs decided that this could not be

"No! Get the hell out of this party now!"

The Awesome Presence that was in their midst could not be stopped though so they simply ignored him and hoped he would go away on his own but that certainly cannot be expected from a nation like Prussia

_That guy… How can he be so similar to America and not even have the slightest hint of relation to him. _

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><p>Palestine had just been in such a foul mood at the beginning of the party and suddenly he was jumping up and down with joy. International politics can be so strange.<p>

"Hey guys I'm a country! I'm a fuckin' country. Shove it Israel, you and I have to talk the Quartet said so. Oh and your good American buddies really tried to stop me from getting it but I was just far too close to stop then."

"Whenever you're a real country then we will talk about it."

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><p>Pakistan continued to move on until she noticed a small country talking, if you can call it that since she wasn't even speaking, to China.<p>

"Afghanistan!" she called out.

The small girl turned around and Pakistan saw a faint sparkle light up in her eyes.

Pakistan ran over and gave the country a huge hug.

"How are you doing? Things going well in your house?"

"Excuse me Ms. Pakistan – aru – but I believe that I was talking with Ms. Afghanistan." The large man conjectured.

"Get lost! Afghanistan and I have been through a lot together. I've only been talking to her dom stuk kak diplomats who couldn't be more corrupt. You'll get your chance later. Besides you're always in her business anyway."

China stalked away with a very dark glare on his face.

_Doesn't matter he'll probably forget about what some Middle Eastern country said by next week anyhow._

"So how are you Afu?"

She shrugged and look at her in a very peculiar way.

"Not that good huh? Don't worry I'm sure that the Americans and my diplomats will find a way to get the Taliban out your house."

Afghanistan grabbed Pakistan's hand and started to cry very lightly.

"What! Rabbani was killed? This is terrible! His death is gonna throw everything out sorts. Was it the Taliban?"

She nodded her head started sob violently at this point.

"Those najaiz olad. They won't give up the country so now they are willing to cripple it. I need to figure out something that we can do about this."

A tall man with blonde hair and blue eyes and glasses walked towards the two countries. He was obviously troubled by what he had heard from Pakistan and his usual grin was replaced with a frown and a forehead creased with worry.

"I'm not too sure what we can actually do about it Pakistan."

"Shut up America, we've made it through tougher times than this with Afu. We will be able to do it again."

We'll try Pakistan, we'll try." America was distressed by this partially for his own selfish gain and for concern of Afghanistan. If Afghanistan fell to the Taliban there was no telling what would happen to the climate of the Middle East.

"Wait America," as Pakistan came to a revelation. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Well I am the hero and heroes can wherever they damn well please. Just ask Nicaragua."

"Well you can't just show up to a party unannounced and uninvited. That's just rude and China and Turkey are going to kick your ass.

"They'll _try_ to kick my ass," the bespectacled country corrected. "After all I'm the hero and the hero doesn't get his ass beat."

He gave a very satisfied laugh as the olive skinned country just shook her head with a mix of disgust and indigestion. After all listening to the nonsensical country babble it could even move a stone to nausea and a sage to anger and Pakistan was not either one of those patient pair.

America attempted to try and help the two countries but Pakistan all of a sudden started acting very strangely and kicked him out.

_Well that's strange. Pakistan at least tries to appear to be amiable to people and actually _is _to her friends..._ _now that is kind of making me think a bit._

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><p>Uzbekistan started to feel extremely left out. As a matter of fact it felt like hanging with his families for each others birthdays. And as you can imagine he started to emit lugubrious aura about his. Countries started to filter away from him as to not get caught up in his web of depression. It's not that he seemed like he was emotionally unstable or was an emo kid or anything like that but the other countries didn't know how to approach the morose young man. For that you need somebody who just can't read atmospheres or someone who was capable of ignoring them. And someone who was capable of doing just that was starting to walk towards him.<p>

"You look rather glum there but don't worry my Awesomeness will cheer you right up."

Uzbekistan looked up and saw a gray haired man with red eyes and an almost cartoonishly broad grin. It seemed to fit his face perfectly and that his face would fall apart if that smile wasn't there. Or at least make beyond recognition he couldn't tell which because both seemed very likely.

"How can you say you have awesomeness if I have never seen you at one of these things?" the blue eyed country retorted.

Prussia looked at Uzbekistan absolutely aghast at what he had just heard. For a couple of seconds his mouth actually _stopped moving. _He however quickly regained his composure and offered his response.

"That would be because I am not an Asian nation. Mostly because it could not contain my Awesomeness and forever would be in my Shadow. And by the way it's Awesomeness."

"Well that explain some things..." He was stopped short by the sound of a small bird fluttering into the room and landing on the brash country's head.

"What is that?" The Uzbek managed to finally choke out.

"You mean who it is. It is obviously GILBIRD. The love of my life. The cheese to my beer, the muse to my David, the Lan to my Moraine, the Arrakis to my Muad'Dib, the Boots to my Dora, the GILBIRD to my Gilbert."

"I sense that you are a sci fi fan."

"Your sense is half as awesome as my Awesome and that my friend is Awesome. Cause after all if you cut infinity in half it is still infinite."

The Asian country did not know how to respond. It had been a little while since someone had complimented him and he expected that it might not come again from the very strange man. But he couldn't help but feel drawn to the nation. He was charismatic in an incredibly strange way. He seemed to be that kind of person that you would either love or absolutely loathe. He was starting to feel inexplicably and irrevocably moving towards the former of the two. Prussia realized this and realized that he might actually have a friend, god forbid.

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><p>Pakistan: Hey you guys need to review. Come on I gurantee that Bah Bah won't bite your head off.<p>

Afghanistan: *nods*

America: Yeah because the hero says to do it you need to do it!


	6. The Mixer Part Four

Hey guys. As I have hoped that you noticed I relaunched my absolutely dreadful Mixer Part Three for this story. Gotta admit that was one of the most embarrassing things I may have ever have written so feel to reread it I guarantee that it is at least twice as good. This chapter is kicking off with Australia and New Zealand so buckle up and enjoy the story as I celebrate my return from a long hiatus.

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><p>Australia's night hadn't gone any better since his verbal altercation with Turkmenistan. As a matter it seemed to only get worse and worse as the night grinded along rather harrowingly, vexatiously, painfully, or any other number of terrible adjectives that might describe pain and suffering. And It was first and foremost because of Turkmenistan. He knew that every little thing that could have possibly gone wrong was most definitely <em>her <em>fault. Simply because only the work of some sadistic mad man could have thought of the iniquities that seemed ubiquitous throughout the night; some woman slapped him across the face when he asked her to see her face and told him he was being disrespectful to her culture, laws, and religion, a man threatened with something called scaphism, Russia had threatened to invade him (but then again since when was this news), and someone randomly threw a glass of punch at him. New Zealand though was having a much easier time integrating herself with the people that she saw before her. Especially with all these extremely small countries that he had almost never heard of before in his entire life. Moldova, Bahrain, Brunei, Bhutan, and Qatar. Really bizarre off the wall nations. One nation called Azerbaijan had tried to talk to her but was advised by her new friends to avoid him because of the swirling sentiments about he and the Armenian genocide.

"It's like getting gonorrhea or herpes having positive international relations with him. You legitimately become diseased in the eyes of the world superpowers and other Asian nations. Turkey still supports him and that's one of the reasons why the United States is wary of Turkey."

So she didn't even talk to the garrulous nation. And when she kindly told him about what the other countries said he seemed rather crestfallen and kind of angry as well. Even though he is always under the scrutiny in the entire world that was one of the first times he had tried to reach out and relate for a considerable time, pretty much ever since the small nation gained independence from the Soviet Union, and really the only time that a nation told him to kindly refrain from speaking to them based on the issue of the genocide. Many countries had cut off communications from him but that is extremely different then severing ties that never even existed. He rather felt like the kid that no one wanted to play with him at the playground because he thought a little differently than the other kids.

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><p>Australia was still fuming quietly not knowing what to think of the situation that he was in. He had made very little friends and that included the ones that he already had at this increasingly ridiculous party. He and Japan had made very good light conversation, talked business with China (Now about the iron ore you have been giving me recently... - aru), discussed about the direction of oil with Kuwait and Saudi Arabia, checked up on how Pakistan was getting along and really nothing else had really happened that was positive or neutral ever since. The entire party for him was an absolute flop. There simply had to be a reason that he was doing so poorly and he rationalized that it must be Turkmenistan. Probably because she was forced to apologize to him and it must have hurt her pride. He felt as if he handled the whole apology situation regarding Kiwi badly though and that is probably set her off all funny and making him go around and having the other Asian countries look at him as if he had a third eye and abundant natural resources. Well at least the latter was actually true though. It was rather upsetting though thinking that that woman actually had a say in the international affairs of other countries.<p>

He remembered some advice he had gotten from Turkey about her: _Be careful what you say around her because you never know what she might repeat to certain people and you will never know what she thinks about something unless she directly tells you._

"The dag sure had some crap to sling at me, all right." he thought to himself. However the short train of thought was prematurely interrupted by an abrupt and large amount of incidental contact.

"Jezus, you got kangaroos loose in the paddock or are you just blind?"

"Calm down there. What's got you frazzled like that. You're usually made of sterner stuff."

A brown eyed man with thick black hair looked at him with a serene look at looked completely at peace with the situation that he found himself in. He had dark brown skin almost the color of the clay in his native country and wore a warm smile and looked at his old friend with kindly gaze and it was obvious that he held his old friend in an esteem that was not as high as it once was.

"Do you usually quote Shakespeare or is this some new thing?"

The two men laughed with each for the first time in an extremely long time, almost three years to exact.

"How is New Zealand?" the man asked in a heavy accent that was distinctively his.

"Kiwi is fine, she had a little bit of an altercation with one of the other female countries. I'm sure it was only a cultural misunderstanding and it will blow over by the next time things roll around for the International Summit. I hope at least the thing does and we can all have a bloody hard yakka, eh?"

"I hope so, if it's the one that I heard it was it shouldn't be that much of a problem. Turkmenistan was it?"

"Yeah the sheila had was cracking a fruity and dobin' me in on how much of a prat I am. I was bloody well gobsmacked as you can imagine."

The man laughed again and responded, "I bet, sometimes you need to be reminded of how much of an ass you can be sometimes. Like the time whenever you convinced New Zealand was a common occurrence to cut people's underwear off for them in Delhi. Now if that's not being a prat then I don't know what is."

The two men laughed hysterically remembering the image of New Zealand chasing after a Indian woman with a butter knife nervously saying 'Wait come back we haven't properly greeted yet!' Imagining the sheer ridiculousness of the moment nearly made Australia wet himself.

"Right then, is there anything that we need to go over that can't be discussed at our houses or no?" India was saying in between giggles wiping tears of laughter from his eyes.

"No I think that everything is quite alright I don't really want to discuss anything here where people might be overhearing. Ohhhh..." the blue eyed sighed to regain to his composure. "Core blimey, I nearly had a slash there. We must get together sometime again where we can be a bit more personal, huh?

The dark-skinned man considered this thoughtfully for a few seconds.

"Well I've got nothing that is dreadfully important. It was nice to talk like this. As a matter of fact I don't think that we have a conversation like this ever since we were all in the Commonwealth together..."

"Got that right. Well I need to get going. I'm going to herd Kiwi over to our mode of transportation and get the hell out of here. I always hated events like this."

"Suit yourself, I hear there is going to be a lot more fun tonight."

"It's easy to have more fun at a rage if you haven't had any to begin with old friend."

"I believe a wise man once said that, but I believe he put much more eloquently.

"Oh come off it you wankah. Right see you later."

The two men embraced warmly and then moved their separate ways.

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><p>Kyrgyzstan was not having the best of nights. As a matter of fact she would put it: "It has simply sucked ass. Then the Devil's left nut quickly followed by the right one." She certainly had a way with words didn't she. China and Turkey had been "busting her balls" the entire night while she was trying to make "a quick and clandestine buck or ten" and as a matter of fact had become even better than before to running a good scam. She had found ways for people to invest in her country in funds that were practically nonexistent and falsely appraise the funds. Then she would quickly pull the money out from under them and said that her market was in flux and that they may never get the money back. The countries that had invested would not be surprised because of the weak and unstable economy that she always had but only sometimes stated that she when she wasn't lying about it. She had failed to con anybody because of China and Turkey, ("Believe me," she told me, "it certainly isn't because there isn't enough bleeding hearts at this damn party.") she actually had almost manage to con Japan out of a few pennies or two until Kazakhstan said that he needed to talk to Japan for a little while, which in his code to Kyrgyzstan meant: "I know what you're up to Kyrgyz and I'm not saying anything so I won't embarrass you or Japan, get it?". The answer to that question was always an unequivocal yes since that meant if she was publicly chided for such a faux pas it would ruin her credibility without any doubt and how can you lie to someone whenever you don't have any credibility.<p>

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><p>Australia: I think this was supposed to be the last chapter for this "Mixer" arc wasn't it?<p>

India: Yeah but hey you can never be too sure with these writer types.

Kyrgyz: Would like to buy stocks. Projections are putting this at an excellent period for growth and you are assured capital gains in the tens of billions so what do you say.\

Australia: Oh, that sounds like a fair dinkum deal, say how much are they selling...

India: You twit she's trying to scam you

Pakistan: Hey all you readers of fan fic. Tell BahBah how you feel about the chapter or the story as a whole if you like. Believe me it will be absolutely amazing and the quality has only gotten better since the beginning so just review!


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